You Can't Miss What You Never Had or can you?
by Irene Claire
Summary: Missing Scene. I can 't thank everyone enough for fantastic reviews on my first attempt! This is a 2nd attempt and I'm sort of on a roll. Again Steve's angsty feelings based upon when he and Danny found Grace in the storage unit during the Rick Peterson affair. I felt another need to write about what I thought Steve might have been considering. T to be on safe side.


**I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**'Mai Ka Wa Kahiko' (2.15)**

**You Can't Miss What You Never Had (or can you?)**

Each member of the Five-O team took in the tightly huddled group of Rachel, Grace and Danny. Grace had been found mere moments before, terrified and exhausted, as she sat duct-taped to a chair in small and very dark storage unit. Night had already fallen on the city, but the only one ready to go home, take a bath and get some sleep was little Grace. Each adult was a bundle of nerves, tension and anxiety that would take hours to ebb. It was a blessing that children could recover quickly from many bad experiences. With her loving family to comfort her, this was almost assured.

Rachel was crying as Danny transferred Grace from himself to her mother's arms. He hadn't continued his litany of "I'm sorry" once he had gotten outside the storage unit. He had become mute and kept Grace wrapped in a warm enveloping hug that he then included Rachel within. And as always, his hugs were generous and comforting. He was easily able to embrace his entire family warmly.

Steve had taken that in, along with a new look that he hoped he'd never see again on his partner's face.

This latest new look was shared in the storage unit. It was totally different and almost nameless. It was understandably that of an angry, protective parent out for bear, but combined with the litany, this new face said "never again shall this happen". It was a bigger and more dangerous look – even outshining what Steve witnessed after Danny had shot Stan in the park earlier that day. Danny was in 'cop mode' and in full control of the situation – man on a mission stuff – in fact, Steve had been more impressed than ever before with his partner's ability to stay focused and show the restraint that he did for all that he was going through. But now and for the life of him, Steve was sure the look in the storage unit meant that Danny would leave the Island, quit the force, leave the team … hell, and leave HIM.

And could Steve blame Danny? As Steve took in the family unit, he realized that he absolutely couldn't and wouldn't blame Danny for any future decision. But the future scared him. They all had heard the recorded voicemail message from Danny to Rachel about the new baby and how he so desperately wanted to re-marry and do whatever it took to stay together, regardless of the baby's father. So yes, he could leave them all in the dust at a moment's notice.

For that, Steve partly hated Rachel. But he couldn't really dislike her entirely. Danny loved Rachel for a reason and all of those reasons as a whole made Rachel endearing. Albeit she was a very conflicted woman that was tearing up his partner, but she was a good mother with a kind heart and well, simply …. likeable.

One of his teams' main concerns was finding and keeping her and baby Charlie safe as they tracked down Rick Peterson. They had done it for her as much as for Danny. And Steve was honestly relieved when Lori blurted out that Rachel was safely housed at the precinct before even he had to ask.

As Steve watched the group, he realized that part of him wanted to go over and hug all of them as well. He wanted to be part of that small family group and all of that warmth. But while he loved each one on different levels, he knew this was something he wasn't wholly part of and it distressed him. He was surprised at his feelings and looked away, staring into the dark storage unit blankly.

His own personal life had always been a series of major upheavals. He couldn't ever recall being hugged like that as a kid or having such a close family. He and MaryAnn were active and always on the go, each with different friends. Close but not close. In fact, in recent history, the last time had had hugged MaryAnn was when he rescued her from the trunk of a car. Sure they loved each other and deeply, but they were not a demonstrative family.

His parents were married to their jobs and then his mother had been killed. His father was then hell-bent on a private mission. Again excluding his children entirely but only in the hopes of keeping them out of harms' way. This set a pattern in motion that made Steve the good, but independent man he was today. So Steve could barely even think on such levels.

After meeting Danny and getting to know his partner and friend, he had begun to get an inkling of what he was missing. He was starting to miss what he had never had, and he wasn't sure when that had begun.

He sighed and rubbed his face. With his eyes still closed, he felt a presence at his side and a hand on his arm. Danny?

"Hey," Danny said. "We're going to get Grace checked out at the hospital, but Rachel is going to ride in the ambulance. Drop me off?"

"She okay?' Steve asked. His eyes following Rachel and Grace into the ambulance and watching the doors close.

"I think so." Danny replied quietly as he watched Steve for a moment. "Come here. Because I can't get enough of this right now and it must be the Jersey in me." And Steve felt himself pulled into the big, warm 'Danny hug'. He returned it slowly at first and then with an honest enthusiasm. Danny was going to stay and it would be okay.

"Thank you." Danny whispered into Steve's shoulder, as he thumped his best friend's back soundly. Yup, this was the 'Danny manly hug' in all its warm glory and Steve relished it.

"Good god, for what?" Steve asked almost too loudly.

"For backing me up – for having my six like you crazed SEAL-types insist on saying. And for keeping my family safe".

Steve looked at Danny and grinned, "Just get in the car, babe." Danny would stay. And no, you can't miss what you never had. But Steve now had "some of it", he wanted more and it felt good. And rest assured, he would never let it go.

~ fin ~


End file.
